I have gotten myself used to using calendars and To-Do lists for quite a while now after I have had believed that they are only beneficial to business men and such people.
I keep my use to a minimum, but they help me greatly.
It is said that great achievers all shared the use of To-Do lists.
The purpose of the To-Do list is to have some tasks in it. You simply aren't using it correctly if your list is empty.
My days pass with the list growing and shrinking. Well, until my semester's final exams commence. When that happens, the list starts growing and growing with not enough time for me to cross things out. Finals at where I study take two weeks, three weeks or sometimes even four. Stress builds up from the tests and the exponentially growing To-Do list.
My days start building up a depressing routine, fully draining me almost every single day with extreme lack of leisure time. My crave for fun and leisure manifest themselves as tasks that need to be done and find their way into my To-Do list, making it grow even larger, and building my stress even more.
I run through my list at the end of the day, finding it bigger than it was that same morning. I question each task, and wonder if I can just take it off the list. I contemplate taking off fun activities just to make the list smaller so that it would cause me less stress when I look at it. And eventually do.
The idea depresses me. Just thinking about it does, and reminds me of a verse that goes:
"3ukkazati heya na'6iri... hal fi jamad-n min na6'ar".
Said by a blind man, with him explaining his misery with blindness and how he suffers from it, the literal explanation of that specific verse goes something like:
"I rely on my cane to see. And how can a still object have vision?"
P.s. The main reason I wrote this note was to cross it out from my To-Do list, ironic.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Monday, August 3, 2009
Friday, July 31, 2009
Simply Venting!
Here's what you don't get to do!
You don't get to have the people closest to you the easiest people you hurt because of their accessibility and closeness! You don't get to ask people to come closer to you while you push them away, throwing them a rope and then setting it on fire. You don't get to hurt those people because they've said words that you need to hear, stuff that YOU asked them to tell you! You don't get to say everything is fine and perfect one day, and totally corrupt after 5 minutes. You don't get to respond to a 1 like 10, punishing or reacting to the simplest of things as it were the toughest.
You don't get to know the truth that others need and not inform them! You don't get to hurt those closest to you rightfully and not even apologize for that later on when you've calmed down. You don't get to treat that person who has come for your rescue as the villain that's lurking around every corner.
Why? Why don't you get to do that? Because it is not right! It's not just! And surely isn't fair! Yes! As simple as that.
The world wasn't created a fair place, that doesn't give you the permission to extend that unjust. Human beings were put on this Earth to grow it, not reduce it to ashes.
Everyone makes mistakes, myself before others! That is never the case. Count other people's mistakes and they will wear you out before they tire others. Try to balance people's actions and it will flip you right over. Things do not weigh as much tomorrow as they do today. They are not coins of constant weight.
What more can you ask from a person if, after they make their mistakes, whether directed or not, will fix their mistakes and apologize and take to heart that that mistake is not repeated again?
Are you arguing that making mistakes is the problem? We'll that doesn't benefit you before it hurts me.
Or is it really that fixing your mistakes, apologizing and being righteous is worth nothing? That I find hard to accept. Because I wait for that whenever the mistake was in my direction. It's enough to know that it matters to me to realize that it is important and that more than one person feels that way. If you still don't agree, then that's how WE think, and being a close friend of ours, you should have picked up on that!
It's hurt, pain, disappointment, guilt, anger, frustration, and love that I feel now. Yes, love. Because if that is what stands between me and taking what is rightfully mine. I know doing that will hurt you! So how pathetic am I? that I care for your hand while it slaps me?
It's not pathetic, not one bit. It's kindness. Kindness that has, apparently, since forever been mistaken or unapparent to you, amazingly not to others.
A saying goes: "If your friend is all honey, don't lick him all".
"It was an issue to you that I accept you as the person you are while I never had that issue. My mere concept was that a person never ceases to grow. For you, because you were sensitive, I've stopped being that person that directs you forward and have just become a passenger next to you. I have made my mistake, actually mistakes, but I have always apologized and tried to correct them when I had an eye opener (specially when it came from you). Ask yourself again if you tell yourself that you know me if my actions aren't speaking loud enough."
That is surely not all I have in mind, but it is what I have to say.
And somehow it amuses me how I could write that and know that the person in question will not read it. Do not interpret my "venting" here as weakness or that this is the product of my summed energy. I just wanted for once to convey my anger via words, I hope you felt it.
You don't get to have the people closest to you the easiest people you hurt because of their accessibility and closeness! You don't get to ask people to come closer to you while you push them away, throwing them a rope and then setting it on fire. You don't get to hurt those people because they've said words that you need to hear, stuff that YOU asked them to tell you! You don't get to say everything is fine and perfect one day, and totally corrupt after 5 minutes. You don't get to respond to a 1 like 10, punishing or reacting to the simplest of things as it were the toughest.
You don't get to know the truth that others need and not inform them! You don't get to hurt those closest to you rightfully and not even apologize for that later on when you've calmed down. You don't get to treat that person who has come for your rescue as the villain that's lurking around every corner.
Why? Why don't you get to do that? Because it is not right! It's not just! And surely isn't fair! Yes! As simple as that.
The world wasn't created a fair place, that doesn't give you the permission to extend that unjust. Human beings were put on this Earth to grow it, not reduce it to ashes.
Everyone makes mistakes, myself before others! That is never the case. Count other people's mistakes and they will wear you out before they tire others. Try to balance people's actions and it will flip you right over. Things do not weigh as much tomorrow as they do today. They are not coins of constant weight.
What more can you ask from a person if, after they make their mistakes, whether directed or not, will fix their mistakes and apologize and take to heart that that mistake is not repeated again?
Are you arguing that making mistakes is the problem? We'll that doesn't benefit you before it hurts me.
Or is it really that fixing your mistakes, apologizing and being righteous is worth nothing? That I find hard to accept. Because I wait for that whenever the mistake was in my direction. It's enough to know that it matters to me to realize that it is important and that more than one person feels that way. If you still don't agree, then that's how WE think, and being a close friend of ours, you should have picked up on that!
It's hurt, pain, disappointment, guilt, anger, frustration, and love that I feel now. Yes, love. Because if that is what stands between me and taking what is rightfully mine. I know doing that will hurt you! So how pathetic am I? that I care for your hand while it slaps me?
It's not pathetic, not one bit. It's kindness. Kindness that has, apparently, since forever been mistaken or unapparent to you, amazingly not to others.
A saying goes: "If your friend is all honey, don't lick him all".
"It was an issue to you that I accept you as the person you are while I never had that issue. My mere concept was that a person never ceases to grow. For you, because you were sensitive, I've stopped being that person that directs you forward and have just become a passenger next to you. I have made my mistake, actually mistakes, but I have always apologized and tried to correct them when I had an eye opener (specially when it came from you). Ask yourself again if you tell yourself that you know me if my actions aren't speaking loud enough."
That is surely not all I have in mind, but it is what I have to say.
And somehow it amuses me how I could write that and know that the person in question will not read it. Do not interpret my "venting" here as weakness or that this is the product of my summed energy. I just wanted for once to convey my anger via words, I hope you felt it.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
It's Usually Just a Coat
Deeply embedded within us are certain qualities, traits and behaviors. There is no doubt that our paradigms change according to certain situations, but it's rarely a permanent shift.
Our perspectives and views change according to the situation presented before us while the true mechanism running the machinery behind the scenes stays the same. This, of course, is generally speaking, not mentioning the odd cases.
A pessimist is a pessimist, unless he wants to adapt an optimist's view. A "busy person" is always busy until he declares himself free for a while. The way that events gyrate our mind's gears are seldom changed.
Some people incline themselves to feeling tired. They wake up tired, they go to work tired, they eat and sleep when they are tired. They're mind is fixed. These persons might in reality be tired of whatever cause, but they also lack the desire to change the perspective. As happiness is a way of life and not a product of it, so are many stuff. I might not be conveying a clear message here, but know that you understand me if you found this personally offensive.
YOU have a certain trait, that you wish to see and interact with the world in, consciously or subconsciously. You might, and might not know it. You will walk through life stamping every event with that trait, which, with the majority of people, is a bad thing. I'm talking about when people smile to you right after you slap them and then walk away. The people who are kind to you after you strip them away of what seemed everything to them. People who, not realizing why, have to work hard and do good even in the toughest of circumstances. They might seem weak and frail, but I believe those are the people that really matter in this world. They are the ones who make a difference. A good one, at least.
Dig deep into yourself, and you might not even find it. You might not even realize what I was just on about. But ask a close friend, a friend who will tell you the truth when you ask for it. They will describe you in a group of words, find the one (or more) that make what I typed meaningful.
If it's a positive trait, hold on to it, embrace it, and cultivate it. If it's not, try to change it, it will turn you into a better you.
"You can never become better than anyone else, you can only be a better you"
Our perspectives and views change according to the situation presented before us while the true mechanism running the machinery behind the scenes stays the same. This, of course, is generally speaking, not mentioning the odd cases.
A pessimist is a pessimist, unless he wants to adapt an optimist's view. A "busy person" is always busy until he declares himself free for a while. The way that events gyrate our mind's gears are seldom changed.
Some people incline themselves to feeling tired. They wake up tired, they go to work tired, they eat and sleep when they are tired. They're mind is fixed. These persons might in reality be tired of whatever cause, but they also lack the desire to change the perspective. As happiness is a way of life and not a product of it, so are many stuff. I might not be conveying a clear message here, but know that you understand me if you found this personally offensive.
YOU have a certain trait, that you wish to see and interact with the world in, consciously or subconsciously. You might, and might not know it. You will walk through life stamping every event with that trait, which, with the majority of people, is a bad thing. I'm talking about when people smile to you right after you slap them and then walk away. The people who are kind to you after you strip them away of what seemed everything to them. People who, not realizing why, have to work hard and do good even in the toughest of circumstances. They might seem weak and frail, but I believe those are the people that really matter in this world. They are the ones who make a difference. A good one, at least.
Dig deep into yourself, and you might not even find it. You might not even realize what I was just on about. But ask a close friend, a friend who will tell you the truth when you ask for it. They will describe you in a group of words, find the one (or more) that make what I typed meaningful.
If it's a positive trait, hold on to it, embrace it, and cultivate it. If it's not, try to change it, it will turn you into a better you.
"You can never become better than anyone else, you can only be a better you"
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Anti-Logic
We go through life, being told that we shouldn't be bit from the same hole twice, shouldn't play with fire, and that we should learn from other people's mistakes instead of making our own.
On the face of it, that sounds very logical. Being bit from a certain hole would teach your mind that placing your hand in that same hole again would most probably end with the same result. Playing with fire, as our minds are programmed will eventually give you a burn. And of course, learning from other people's mistakes would save you the time, effort and emotional disturbance Except I don't agree with all the above, at least not absolutely.
Life is much more complicated for us to come and corner it with a couple of wise words.
Life, with all it's physics, chemistry, and sense, can't be lived through logic only. That simply isn't how the human brain was designed, otherwise God wouldn't have given us feelings.
I blame it all on feelings. But then again, it is those feelings that make us what we are.
The thing is, each of us is an individual. An individual in the descriptive sense. Each is different from the other in every single aspect no matter how similar two individuals may seem. That difference, of course, varies in magnitude, but persists nonetheless.
We need our mistakes. Our own experiences of the world that feed us back the proper incentives that shape our character and define our reaction to future events. The meal that we have been invited to in a restaurant does not resemble the one that we have payed for ourselves. Even though we are the ones who order it and eat it, but are never the one ones who prepare it. Our experiences of the would give us a different feedback because they have engaged in our own analytic and emotional thinking.
We challenge our failures from time to time, trying to change them or at least get the best out of them. It's what causes disastrous outcomes in some stories, but it is also what caused Addison to develop the practical electric light bulb. It is in the same sense that scientific experiments go through trial and error that humans sometimes need to make the same mistake twice after emotions have been altered. After all, emotions affect everything we do all of the time. The point here is not that we should go through the trial and error experiments over and over again with the same inputs, but to appreciate human's repeated mistakes as they are what drives to failure, but also enable greatness other times.
(to be continued later...)
On the face of it, that sounds very logical. Being bit from a certain hole would teach your mind that placing your hand in that same hole again would most probably end with the same result. Playing with fire, as our minds are programmed will eventually give you a burn. And of course, learning from other people's mistakes would save you the time, effort and emotional disturbance Except I don't agree with all the above, at least not absolutely.
Life is much more complicated for us to come and corner it with a couple of wise words.
Life, with all it's physics, chemistry, and sense, can't be lived through logic only. That simply isn't how the human brain was designed, otherwise God wouldn't have given us feelings.
I blame it all on feelings. But then again, it is those feelings that make us what we are.
The thing is, each of us is an individual. An individual in the descriptive sense. Each is different from the other in every single aspect no matter how similar two individuals may seem. That difference, of course, varies in magnitude, but persists nonetheless.
We need our mistakes. Our own experiences of the world that feed us back the proper incentives that shape our character and define our reaction to future events. The meal that we have been invited to in a restaurant does not resemble the one that we have payed for ourselves. Even though we are the ones who order it and eat it, but are never the one ones who prepare it. Our experiences of the would give us a different feedback because they have engaged in our own analytic and emotional thinking.
We challenge our failures from time to time, trying to change them or at least get the best out of them. It's what causes disastrous outcomes in some stories, but it is also what caused Addison to develop the practical electric light bulb. It is in the same sense that scientific experiments go through trial and error that humans sometimes need to make the same mistake twice after emotions have been altered. After all, emotions affect everything we do all of the time. The point here is not that we should go through the trial and error experiments over and over again with the same inputs, but to appreciate human's repeated mistakes as they are what drives to failure, but also enable greatness other times.
(to be continued later...)
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